Dear Abby: How can I get a man to stop hitting on me while his partner has dementia?

DEAR ABBY: I am a widow of two decades who has raised a family in an old historic house in a small island town. During the renovation and maintenance of the house, a father and son team of electricians has been like a family.

Over the past year or so, Dad, who is in his late 70s (older than me) has started making unwanted romantic overtures in the form of suggestive or likeable texts, emails, phone calls, invitations to lunch or cocktails and professions of having “secret fantasies” while working for me throughout the years. What’s even worse is that his romantic partner of decades is in the middle stages of dementia.

I find this annoying and insulting, and I’ve politely discouraged him or tried to humor his advances. Fortunately, he doesn’t live on the island, but if you see my car in town, please meet for a “quick hug”.

Electricians of his caliber are rare and I really can’t afford to lose him. His moonshine rates have always been a “friends and family” deal. His son has taken a job with a large outfit and is rarely available. How do I pull the plug on Dad’s romantic advances without him blowing the fuse? — WENT TO MAINE

DEAR GONE: Tell this man in plain English that you think he’s a wonderful friend, but you’re morally opposed to being romantically involved with anyone whose partner is sick. He must listen to it.

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DEAR ABBY: My mother and two sisters constantly complain about their physical ailments. None of them have been evaluated or diagnosed by a doctor. They have repeatedly tried to treat themselves with outdated advice and remedies that are not supported by scientific information.

I have tried to convey to them the importance of proper nutrition and resistance training, as building and maintaining muscle is so important as we age. Abby, I’m no expert, but I have transformed my body and my life with those simple rules. My mother and sisters are so defensive and dismissive of my advice that I have given up trying to talk to them.

If they won’t at least try something new to feel better, how can I handle their constant complaining? So I keep suggesting the same things? So I ignore their complaints? — FAMILY SUPPORT IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR HELPER: Because trying to guide your mother and sisters to a healthier lifestyle has not worked and has become a source of frustration for you, stop trying to help. They have tuned you out and your efforts are futile. A step in the right direction would be to ignore their complaints and change the subject instead of giving them advice they won’t follow.

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DEAR READERS: Oh, how quickly the past year has flown by! I wish you all a happy, healthy and successful 2025. I join you tonight in toasting a New Year that will be filled with hope for us all. If you’re partying tonight, please take precautions to protect not only your health, but the safety of others. Happy New Year, everyone! – LOVE, ABBY

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Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.